Child marriage legal & still practiced in Saudi Arabia

12-year-old Saudi bride (photo from Al Nafjan article)

Some of this post is drawn from "Child Marriage: It's Still Legal in Saudi Arabia" by Eman Al Nafjan, of Rijadh. Al Nafjan is the author of the Saudiwoman's Weblog, a blog on Saudi society, culture, women and human rights issues. Her article appeared in the email newsletter, Arts and Opinion, last week.

When I finished writing this post, finished reading the articles I've linked to and looking at pictures of child brides on Google Image, I straggled into my kitchen and just slumped against the wall, weeping with sorrow and anger. I came back to my computer after a few minutes and looked at one more site that made me feel some hope - Million Women Rise.  Readers, please leave comments about other sites and organizations that are working to empower women or to protect young girls (and young boys) from abuse - I need to hear it! Sally Kneidel

Saudi girls can be married off at any age

Saudi activists have been pressuring the Ministry of Justice to outlaw child marriages and to prosecute parents who "allow their children to be raped under the pretense of marriage." In April of 2009, the Ministry issued a statement that it was working on legal changes to protect young girls from this abuse. But according to last week's Arts and Opinion newsletter, the only legal change so far is a blank on the marriage certificate for the age of the bride. Any age is acceptable.

Saudi child bride

Young brides can suffer permanent physical damage

A Saudi social worker interviewed by the capital's newspaper, Al Riyadh, said she knows of 3,000 cases of brides 13-yrs-old or younger married to men the age of the bride's father or grandfather. Why do parents turn their daughters over to pedophiles, knowing that rape of a young girl can inflict permanent and even fatal physical damage, as well as psychological trauma? Intercourse with an immature girl can and often does cause a fistula - a tearing of the tissues that separate the bladder and rectum from the vagina. Without surgery to repair it, a fistula leads to life-long leaking of urine and feces from the vagina, which causes infections, can cause kidney failure and death. (Rape, especially violent rape, of adult women can also cause fistulas. As can prolonged childbirth, or any birth for an underage mother.)

So why do parents give their young daughters to much older men? One reason is to get the dowry paid to the parents by the groom. Another reason is cultural...

Having an unwed daughter is perceived as culturally risky

"Girls are seen as very risky in Saudi Arabia because they can later shame the family name by sleeping with someone,” Al Nafjan explains. “So families often marry off their girls at a young age so they can’t shame the family. It’s particularly common in cases when you have people from the lower economic status who get divorced,” Al Nafjan says. “The father usually wants to keep the boys, because culturally they are not seen as risky, and doesn’t want to give the daughters to the mother out of spite, so he just marries them off to the first person who’ll pay. In all the cases that have gotten the attention of local newspapers it was because either the mother or the aunt made an issue of it."

Daughter sold for $22,600

Nafjan describes the marriage of a 65-year-old man with hepatitis B to a healthy 11-year-old girl. She reports another case involving a 12-year-old girl who was sold by her father into marriage with an 80-year-old cousin for the equivalent of $22,600. The girl had to be taken to the hospital after the wedding night. Saudi women's rights activists are outraged at such cases but powerless to do much about it, if the parents are in favor. A wedding officiator may object as well, but apparently has no legal grounds to refuse to perform the wedding.

10-year-old who escaped forced-marriage named "Woman of the Year"

I came across this book several times in researching this post. I haven't read it but it looks intriguing. Amazon has more information about it.

Internationally acclaimed book and author

For more information about child marriage, see Al Nafjan's article as well as these links to other articles: 

Al Nafjan's article

Yemini Child Bride, 12, Dies in Labor. CBS News

Yemen: "I'd Rather Die than Go Back to Him"

I Am Nujood, Age 10 and Divorced

Saudi Justice Ministry: Ban Child Marriage (post on Million Women Rise)

My previous posts on child marriage:

Review of gripping polygamy memoir: "Escape" by Carolyn Jessup

Child brides, poverty, population growth

Keywords: child marriage child bride child brides fistula Saudi Arabia Yemen dowry forced marriage arranged marriage

Review of gripping polygamy memoir: "Escape" by Carolyn Jessop

"I have a corner in my state that's worse than the Taliban" said Utah's attorney general Mark Shurtleff.

Child brides

That corner of Utah (and adjoining Arizona) is the subject of this engrossing and shocking book by Carolyn Jessop, a brave young mother of eight who managed to escape the oppressive and totalitarian cult headed by Warren Jeffs. You've probably heard of Jeffs, who made the FBI's Ten Most Wanted List in 2006 for alleged sexual conduct with minors, incest, accomplice to rape, arranging illegal marriages between his adult male followers and female children, and other sordid activities.

Warren Jeffs and one of his 12-year-old brides

Married to a stranger 32 years older

But the book is not about Jeffs, he's just part of the horrifying backdrop. The story is Carolyn's memoir, moving through her childhood within the cult, where parents were encouraged to routinely beat their children, and her vivid descriptions of her arranged marriage at age 18 to a 50-year-old stranger.

Vicious competition for husband's favor

I thought I knew a little bit about polygamous marriages from watching the tame and amiable reality show "Sister Wives" on the TLC channel. The world of the cult that Carolyn grew up in, the FLDS, is another ballgame entirely. I was stunned by Carolyn's retelling of her married life to a power-hungry bully with growing numbers of wives and dozens of children, a life ruled by constant fear of physical and emotional abuse of her children and herself. Wives were forced to compete for the husband's favor, or watch their children suffer. The husband's favorite wives were free to beat, torment, starve, and humiliate the children of the less favored wives. His preferred sexual partner could expect at least some protection for her own children, so competition among the wives was fierce. Wives who displeased the husband were treated no better than a dying chicken in a hen house: shunned, verbally and physically attacked, even left on the side of the road. Teenage boys who might compete with old men for prospective brides were also left on the side of the road outside the community, with no resources whatsoever.

Twilight Zone for real

The scenario makes no sense unless it's seen in the bigger picture - almost all the people in Carolyn's world grew up in the cult and had virtually no exposure to the outside world or media, and little education. Even the police in the town were part of the cult, like a Twilight Zone nightmare. Women's cars had no license plates to keep them from leaving town. Most of the women were faithful to the cult: brainwashed to believe that their eternal salvation was directly dependent upon their obedience to their husband's wishes. The ego-maniacal men were told that they would be gods in the afterlife, each with his own planet to rule over as king.

It's a story of human weakness, cruelty, greed for power, and gullibility that challenges belief. And yet Carolyn leaves no doubt that every word is true.

Her dawning realization...

The best thing about the book is Carolyn's detailed narration of her gradual awakening to reality and her growing determination to protect her children.  We move with her through the events that convinced her she was living in an increasingly dangerous world of lies, delusion, and deadly oppression.

Escape!

And then the night of the escape! She waited patiently for the confluence of circumstances that would maximize her chances of success - the time finally arrived in the middle of the night. Her husband out of town, Carolyn stuffed all of her baffled, brainwashed children into the van with no license plate and careened out of town. Carolyn was the first woman ever to escape the FLDS with all of her children, to survive the subsequent legal assaults of her high-ranking husband, and to win custody of all her children.

I love this woman! What a role model for taking control, where none was offered. For throwing herself bravely into uncharted territory. For winning, and for writing to inspire the rest of us with her stunning tale of victory over the lowest of the low - men who live to abuse and degrade those weaker than themselves.

Yay for Carolyn Jessop! If you want some riveting reading, grab her book.

I just saw on Amazon that she has a second book, Triumph: Life After the Cult, published in May 2011. I'll be reading that one as soon as I can get my hands on it.

Links to some of my previous reviews of books and documentaries

"Burning in the Sun": I love this unique eco-documentary
Review of "The Cove": An A+ documentary about Japan's dolphin slaughter
Review of the documentary "End of the Line: Where Have All the Fish Gone?"
Review of new food film: "What's on YOUR Plate?"
Review of Jonathan Safran Foer's book: "Eating Animals"
Review of the new documentary "Dirt: The Movie"
Review of the documentary "Kilowatt Ours" by Jeff Barrie

Posts about child brides in Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia

Child brides, poverty, population growth by Sally Kneidel
Child marriage: it's still legal in Saudi Arabia by Eman Al Nafjan

Further reading on Warren Jeffs and the FLDS (Fundamentalist Church of Latter-Day Saints)

Prophet's Prey: My Seven Year Investigation into Warren Jeffs and the Fundamentalist Church of Latter-Day Saints by Sam Brower and Joh Krakauer (Sep 27, 2011)

 

Keywords: Carolyn Jessop FLDS Warren Jeffs child brides child bride child abuse polygamy Merril Jessop plural marriage polygamist

Child-brides, Poverty, Population Growth

Photo of an 11-yr-old Afghan bride by Stephanie Sinclair, NY Times magazine 2006 and National Public Radio

Eight-year-old Enatnesh stands by the door way of her Ethiopian home contemplating the recent marriage of her 12-year-old sister with a look of profound sadness. She says she would like to be a doctor or a teacher, but she doesn't think that can happen if she marries at 12.
She says she doesn't want to get married; she'd rather get an education. But, she says, "Of course, I can't decide to marry or not. The decision is under my family, my father and mother." (Brenda Wilson, NPR)

In many developing nations, rural girls marry very early, often as children. Brenda Wilson reports for NPR that up to 40% of girls in rural Ethiopia are married before the age of 15. The girls' fathers arrange the marriages, and the girls have no voice in the matter. Many are married by the age of 12, but are allowed to remain with their parents until they are 14, when they go to live with their husband's family. The husband is generally10 years older.

Today we talked with an Ethiopian woman who lives in our hometown. She said that even in the capital city of Ethiopia (Addis Ababa), girls are commonly married in their early teens. Child-marriage is most prevalent in the two most impoverished areas of the world: sub-Saharan Africa and parts of South Asia, including India and Bangladesh. See this document by the International Center for Research on Women for more data about child-brides.

Tradition plays a role in the persistence of this practice. Because so many girls do marry young, fathers fear that their daughters will be viewed as defective if they don't marry young, then no one will want them. Or they might be raped or abducted or become sexually active if they don't marry early, then - again - no one will want to marry them. Marriage, for girls, has been seen traditionally as the only way for parents to provide for their daughter's future.

But marrying early is bad news all the way around for the girls. Girl-brides are virtually powerless, easily manipulated, and extremely vulnerable to their older husbands. The incidence of domestic violence, abuse, and abandonment is much higher for wives who are married before the age of 18.

Child-brides are also likely to experience pregnancy and childbirth while they are still children themselves, an event which is likely to damage their bodies permanently. The CDC reports that many girls who give birth too early experience tearing of internal tissues during birth, leaving them with "fistulas," or internal chambers that should be separate but are no longer so. The walls of the vagina, large intestine, and bladder may be torn so that one opens into another. The girls may "leak" urine or feces continuously for the rest of their lives. Young brides in rural Ethiopia and in other developing nations often go through pregnancy without health care and give birth attended only by female neighbors or family members.

Forcing young girls to marry older men has repercussions far beyond the suffering and lost potential of the girls themselves. Girls coerced into marriage, whether by their fathers or by the circumstances of poverty and the absence of other options, perpetuate the cycle of poverty. Girls and young women with no education, no financial resources, no opportunities to generate income or improve their circumstances, are much more likely to have large families. They have little authority or autonomy in the marital relationships, and men in developing nations often want large families, to work the farm or for spiritual and traditional reasons. Young women with limited options may want large families themselves - children can give meaning to a life that is otherwise bleak.

There is abundant research to show that in communities with programs to improve educational and occupational opportunities for women, birth rates drop dramatically. That's important not just for those women, but for all of us on planet earth.

Worldwide population growth exacerbates all of our environmental problems on the planet. Although the number of humans on the planet will swell from 6 billion to 9.5 billion people by the year 2050, our land and other resources are not growing. In fact, our resources are shrinking due to overharvesting, overgrazing, pollution, and global warming.

Most of the growth in world population will occur in developing nations. In those countries, the subjugation of women is one of the biggest factors contributing to population growth. That subjugation is locked in place when girls are betrothed as children.

For more information about what you can do to protect young girls from arranged marriages, go to the web site of the International Center for Research on Women (www.icrw.org) or email info@icrw.org.

Keywords:: CHILD BRIDE CHILD MARRIAGE FORCED MARRIAGE ARRANGED MARRIAGE POVERTY EDUCATION ETHIOPIA BRENDA WILSON OLDER MEN POPULATION GROWTH OPPORTUNITIES FISTULA HUMAN RIGHTS WOMEN'S RIGHTS OPPRESSION SUBJUGATION ABUSE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE COERCION DEPRESSION